Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming

i think im finally over you.

i think about our memories all the time and i miss them. but after knowing that you are an asshole, i really have no desire to be with you. so thank you for showing your true side because i AM over you.

what is wrong with me

why does your name roll off my tounge ALL the time. this is so embaressing. i keep calling my boyfriend kyle. your name just comes so easily in my head. i dont know why i keep saying it. i dont know why joe is sticking around to keep hearing it. this just sucks because i cant even stop. i dont know what this means. i thought i was over you but everything reminds me of you. then again, i rarely think about you. i dont care about you anymore. i think you just planted yourself in my brain and you wont leave. your name will forever be in my head unfortunately and it sucks. i dont know how much longer will take me calling him kyle. i think one more time and he’s out. so basically i fucking hate you kyle buck

why are you so mean kyle.

who are you. what happened to you? i know this really cannot be you. it just can not. i refuse to believe that the whole year and nine months that i was with you, you were fake. i just cant believe that a boy can be that deceiving. where the fuck are you? i kinda miss the old you. i miss the times when i thought you were amazing. but it doesn’t matter because i never want to see you ever again. youre disgusting to me. 

you are, without a doubt, the meanest person i have ever met in my life

leave me alone. i cannot believe you would ever say the things you said to me. you are pathetic. i did nothing wrong. you are unbelievably immature. im so glad we are over. dont talk to me, im a good for nothing, fake, blotchy tan, horrible blonde fat piece of shit. and ill never let you bring me down. because if i am all those things, then you are a million times worse. but as i have told you before, i am too mature to sit here and bring you down. because trust me, i could easily say the meanest shit about you to bring you lower then the scum of the earth. bye bucky. 

i havent written on here in a while.

hi tumblr. 

its now April 7th. tomorrow is the big day. our 2 year anniversary. it would have been 2 years that we would have been together. and for the past week i had the constant thought in my head of what we would have had planned to do tomorrow. well, it is going to be Easter so we probs would have had dinner at my grandparents house since nothing else would have been opened. we would have spent the whole day together like we usually did. dont know what i would have bought you. it makes me really sad to think about it. but im happy. im happy im not with you anymore. im happy i found someone new. 

April 5th- start of a new relationship :) it kinda sucks that its sooooo close to april 8th. but i dont really mind. i really like him and i think he really likes me but i still have my guard up. i dont fully trust him, probably never will. 

i realized today that i will never be able to trust a boy the way i trusted you, kyle. you completely ruined that for me. or maybe thats a good thing. everything that joe says to me, i think of all the ways he could be lying. oh well. lets see how this goes. i refuse to be hurt again. one mistake and ill be the first one to say see ya. 

honestly…

why do i like you so much… is so weird to me that i still like you even though youre such an asshole. whenever i hear your name, i get butterflies in my stomach. it sucks that you think im annoying, you probably think worse things of me obviously. but whatever. why do i even care? god. i hate how complicated feelings can be. like right now, i could care less about you. you look like a fucking lepracahn. okay so bye and please take your clothes out of my car.

as for the other one that i like…. why dont you text me?!?!?! you get mad easily which is scary. not a very good quality. and i still dont know if youre just trying to fuck. youre so hard to figure out cause you never like to say what youre feeling. and then you blame it on me not saying how i feel… ugh so frustrating.

why do i always have to worry about boys. why cant i just be single and not even hink about boys. #wishthatwillnevercometrue

Dear Kyle,

hi. its just another day when i cant stop thinking about you… another day when i cant stop missing you… another day when i cant stop listening to songs that remind me of you… and yet another day when i cant stop crying over you… i hate this.i hate missing you like this. you’re already over me and it’s so easy for you. did you think that i’d be fine without you? did you think that what you did wouldn’t hurt me or did you simply just not care? i feel like i’ll never find someone who i loved as much as you. i feel like ill never find someone who can fake loving me the way you did. i just keep thinking about all the times we went to new providence and how you would play with kieran and larissa and ryan and jess and bren and evan. i remember how fun that was and how much they loved you. why is that all over? why do they still ask about you? it’s not fair. you don’t get any reminders of me. i wish you were still my boyfriend and i could take you to the beach house at lavalette again. were going to the same one. and of course i’m just going to think about you the whole time. no surprise there.  all my memories are with you. why did you ruin us and me? my heart hurts for you. i wish hearts broke even. 

Love, Andrea